Category: Reflective

  • What To Do If You Start To Panic

    What To Do If You Start To Panic

    A few years ago, my husband and I were flying in to New York – the final stop on our honeymoon…

    It was late December, and it was an early morning flight which meant not only was the weather terrible, it was also pitch black outside. As we began our descent, it became clear that the mild turbulence we had been experiencing throughout the flight was just the beginning. Overhead bins burst open, personal belongings slid across the aisles and the cabin lights started to flicker.

    Our descent turned into a rollercoaster ride after the pilot literally pulled up the nose of the plane as he announced over the speaker that it just wasn’t safe enough to land and he’d have to ‘try again’. With nothing but pitch black outside our windows, we had no idea how far off the tarmac we were and people started to panic – including me.

    The weird thing is I can recall with absolute clarity, looking around in that moment, everything suddenly going all Matrix slo-mo and thinking, ‘I could very easily lose my sh** right now. But I’m not going to. I’m not going to panic. I’m going to keep it together. I will not lose my sh**.’  It felt like an out of body experience.

    I don’t know about you but, for me right now, life has way too many of these moments. Just when you think you’ve got a grip, or found a groove, you get blindsided by something that spirals your mind into a frenzy. You have no idea what lies outside of your view and you feel thrown into a situation you can’t fully grasp.

    The next time you find yourself experiencing one of these moments – i.e. you find yourself in the middle of a turbulent ‘air pocket’ and you start to panic – say to yourself out loud…

    I could very easily lose my sh** right now. But I’m not going to. I’m going to keep it together. I will not lose my sh**.

    It sounds mad (so you may want to shut the door before you do so!) but it actually works!

    Life, work – and the world in general – are crazy right now but I am determined to not only not lose my sh** but also to help you to not lose yours! We just need to keep it together until we can come in for a safe landing.

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    Source: From the Tuesday email archives

  • A Timely Reminder ⭐️

    A Timely Reminder ⭐️

    There’s a trend going around on social media: ‘I wish xx knew xx…’ and it got me thinking.

    What do I wish you knew?

    Right now, we’re at peak bonkersness – halfway through the academic year, spreadsheets are multiplying like rabbits and your office door is on constant rotation.

    And actually, I know you already know everything I’m about to say 😬

    But sometimes, when the noise gets too loud, when the workload piles up and when you start to wonder if it’s just you who feels like this… you need to hear it anyway.

    ⭐️ So here’s your reminder.

    It started as a simple list.

    And then, because I don’t know when to stop, it turned into a manifesto of sorts…

    A motivational woop 💫

    A reality check wrapped in encouragement 🤗

    Because if you need something to pin to your wall, tuck in your diary or mutter under your breath in budget meetings, let it be this:

    1️⃣ You don’t need permission to lead. You already have all the knowledge, experience and skills you need – so don’t wait for permission to use them. Take up space. Own your expertise!

    2️⃣ You bring something unique to the leadership table. The way you see problems, analyse solutions and manage risk is different from other leaders – and that’s a strength, not something to downplay. Your uniqueness is your superpower 💫

    3️⃣ Your work has impact beyond the balance sheet. Just because you’re not in the classroom doesn’t mean you don’t impact learning. Your decisions shape staff wellbeing, student experiences and the future of your school. Everything you do matters.

    4️⃣ You’re not failing just because it feels hard. Budget pressures, leadership tensions and operational headaches don’t mean you’re doing a bad job – they mean you’re doing a real one. If it was easy, they wouldn’t need you!

    5️⃣ You don’t have to know everything. Great leadership isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about knowing the right questions to ask and involving the right people.

    6️⃣ Just because you can do it all, doesn’t mean you should. Working yourself to the limit won’t make your role more valuable but setting boundaries will make it more sustainable.

    7️⃣ You’re not ‘just’ anything. You’re not ‘just the money person’ or ‘just operations’. You’re a strategist, a negotiator, a leader and a force to be reckoned with.

    8️⃣ You don’t have to put up with 💩 If someone consistently undermines you, dismisses your role or makes your job harder, you’re allowed to call it out. Respect is not optional, it’s a requirement.

    9️⃣ You are not alone. Other SBLs get it. The challenges, the wins, the frustrations, the invisible work – there’s a whole community who understands. Lean on them. Let them lean on you.

    🔟 Your role is bigger than the school you’re in right now. The skills you have – financial management, strategic thinking, negotiation, leadership – are transferable. If you ever feel stuck, remember: your experience is valuable in more places than you realise.

    Print this out and put it in your diary. Save it as your desktop wallpaper. Send it to someone who needs to see it.

    Just know that I see you ❤️

    So keep going. Keep leading. And keep being you 🦸

    💫 Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Source: The ‘Tuesday email’ archives

  • How To Map Your Career Path

    How To Map Your Career Path

    Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

    If the thought of answering this question brings you out in a cold sweat, then this blog post is for you. With a little mental adjustment, this question will kick-start your brain, so it starts fizzing with possibilities.

    As someone who once lied during an interview when asked this question rather than admitting I honestly didn’t know, the irony of me writing this does not escape me. 

    However, my advice to you with the benefit of hindsight is that this is a question that we should be asking ourselves as part of our ongoing professional development – and ideally before we’re being interviewed. 

    Many people say that not having a career-map is like setting off on a journey to somewhere you’ve never been without using your sat-nav. Sure, you’ll probably get there eventually but you’re going to hit some dead-ends, roadblocks and maybe even end up circling back on yourself a few times before you do.

    My advice is this. Set your destination in your sat-nav but be open to detours along the way. Take the scenic route, have an over-night somewhere and maybe, if you learn about a more appealing destination along the way, reprogramme your route and have an adventure. 

    Looking back on it now, this is how I would describe my career path. I did not think when I was a PA sat in my office typing letters for the Principal, that I would eventually become a Chief Operating Officer; let alone be doing what I’m doing now! 

    My final destination was not set but I was definitely on a route to… somewhere!

    So, how did I make decisions about accepting a new responsibility, taking on a new role or moving organisations?

    First of all, I made active choices. Who I am today is all down to the choices that I’ve made in the past, not only about the things I did but the things I didn’t do too.

    I know that making choices can be scary, especially when you feel comfortable doing what you’re doing now. I took on responsibilities that I didn’t fully understand, I took jobs before I felt ready to take them and I spoke up even though I wasn’t sure if I was saying the right thing. 

    But by taking action and keeping moving, even when I wasn’t sure what lay ahead, I learnt more about myself than I ever thought possible – even when I got it wrong.

    ‘Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.’ Arthur Ashe

    Here’s my advice to you when it comes to mapping out your career and how to make the best decisions you possibly can:

    It Starts with You

    Before you can decide on the right thing for you to do, you need to, first of all, understand you.

    Ask yourself:

    1. What do I stand for?
    2. What are my values?
    3. What motivates me?
    4. What makes me want to get out of bed and go to work?
    5. What do I love to do?
    6. What do I hate doing?
    7. What am I not good at and do I want to get better at it?
    8. What type of work environment suits me best?
    9. What level of challenge and pressure am I comfortable with?
    10. What kind of organisation do I want to work for?
    11. What is my next logical step and is it one I’m ready – and willing – to take?
    12. Do I have more than one option – and if so – when do I need to choose?

    Make A Plan

    Whether you’re looking five years, one year or one month ahead, you’re still going to need a plan. 

    Ask yourself:

    1. What is it that I want to achieve?
    2. What role will suit my skills and aspirations best?
    3. Where do I see myself in ‘x’ years or months?
    4. What does progress look like to me?
    5. Do I want to move up, across or into a whole new area altogether? 
    6. How can I prepare for this progression?
    7. What knowledge and skills do I need that I currently don’t have?
    8. How can I create opportunities that will bring me closer to where I want to be?
    9. How will I know when I’m ready?
    10. How can I test whether the plan I have is one that I should follow through?

    Test It Out

    Before you commit to a specific path, identify people in your network who are the most experienced and qualified to give you feedback on your plan. If you want to become a CEO, do you know any CEOs who would be willing to have a chat with you? If you’re looking at moving into a Senior Leadership position, are there any Senior Leaders or Headteachers that you know that would be happy to meet up for a chat over coffee? Also, consider speaking to experienced recruiters. This will give you great insight as well as potentially open up future possibilities.

    This is what you want to know from them:

    1. Based on your current position, do they think that your proposed career plan is realistic and achievable?
    2. What insights can they share with you about the role that you’re considering?
    3. What would they expect to see on an application form from someone who is applying for this position?
    4. What else would they like to see on an application form that would make a candidate stand out?
    5. What additional qualifications, if any, do they think would support your application?
    6. What skills and experiences do they think would be helpful for you to develop and undertake that would strengthen your position?
    7. What other advice can they give you that is specific to you, your starting point and your goals for the future?

    Flesh It Out

    Once you’ve considered all the advice you’ve received, it’s time to revisit your plan. 

    Ask yourself:

    1. Does anything I’ve heard make me want to change my plan in any way?
    2. What action steps have become clear to me throughout this process?
    3. Do I need to undertake any further research?
    4. What milestones am I going to set for myself?
    5. Is my timeline realistic?
    6. What concrete steps do I need to take in order to move forward?
    7. Are there any potential obstacles that I need to prepare for?
    8. What support do I need and from whom?
    9. What is the best way to match my CPD with my career plan?
    10. Is my final plan still in keeping with my values and my aspirations?

    Get Started

    It doesn’t matter if your plan is finely detailed or broad brushstrokes. You now know what you need to do to move forward. 

    Every time you complete a step or reach a milestone, check in with your plan. Does it still resonate with you? Are you moving at the pace you’d hoped? Has anything changed? Do you need to recalibrate?

    Remember, by mapping your career plans, you are not committing to anything apart from moving forward. By setting your guiding principles and milestones, you’re allowing yourself to keep an open mind. 

    And that’s the beauty of it… because who knows where you might end up?

    Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Source: My blog vault

  • SBLs: How To Build Your Confidence

    SBLs: How To Build Your Confidence

    Emotional confidence isn’t about having no fear and being able to do anything – it is more about having a base self-belief (self-esteem) upon which starter and smarter confidence can be built.

    Ultimately, it is the ability to be aware of one’s own needs, the needs of others, being able to show empathy, knowing when to speak out and when to support – and even when to show vulnerability. How can emotional confidence be honed – and how can it be a boon in the workplace?

    Previously, I’ve talked about respect for the SBL role and what I believed were the blockers in the sector. I’ve encouraged you all to keep talking, shout when necessary and be persistent.

    Now I know that sometimes, this is easier said than done. Especially if you are an SBL who doesn’t get a chance to show how much you can make a difference because you are not allowed to or you are limited within your context.

    If you’ve ever worked with me or heard me speak at a conference, then you’ll know that my own experiences as an SBL were tough. I was young, unqualified and working with established leaders who had no idea of the value that a quality SBL could add to the organisation. I had to make up a lot of ground fast!

    The strategies I used (besides gaining as much knowledge as quickly as I could!) involved looking at how I perceived myself, how I wanted others to perceive me and what I could do to bridge that gap.

    For those SBLs who are feeling low in confidence and wondering how they can break the cycle and move forward, here are some ways you can shift your mindset, become the SBL you know you truly are and show others why you deserve to be valued, recognised and celebrated.

    Decide what kind of SBL you want to be

    Visualise yourself unfiltered, unafraid and unlimited. What does that look like? Now ask yourself why you feel that you are not able to be these things. Consider the 5 SBL Tools for Demonstrating Impact and Recognition in my article here.  Are any of these areas holding you back? Why do you think that is and more importantly, what are you doing about it? We often behave in accordance with the way that we believe that we are, not the way in which we wish to be. How would this super-SBL version of yourself act in difficult situations, dealing with staff or leading a meeting? Identify what those behaviours are and articulate them clearly so you have concrete goals to work towards. Leave the ‘if only…’ at the door and show up ‘as if’ you’re already there.

    Question your inner critic

    What we believe is actually not a belief – in our mind, it has become fact. This narrative is what is known as ‘negative self-talk’. Write down all the reasons that you believe that you are not able or allowed to be the SBL you want to be and ask yourself what evidence you have to support that. 

    For example, you’d like to be an SBL who speaks up in meetings. But you don’t. Why? Because when you speak up, you feel stupid and think people don’t care about what you have to say. Dig into this more. Why do you feel stupid? Are you going to say stupid things? (Of course not!) Or are you saying something eminently sensible but nobody cares? Ok. Hold on. Nobody cares? Really? You won’t know until you say it! And if they really, really don’t appear to – how can you make them care? How can you position your view or shape your argument to make sure that you get the attention of the people you’re speaking to? 

    Make decisions from a place of courage, not limitation

    We make decisions every day – but the basis of our decision-making can inadvertently set us on the wrong path. Whether it’s because you’re buying into your inner critic or you’re responding automatically to how you feel other people see you or want you to behave, you can find your ‘negative self-talk’ turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, focus on making decisions based on the outcome you want to achieve. What do you need to do? What is the right thing to do? What do you need to get across? What is your main purpose? When you operate from a place of conviction and courage instead of fear, your confidence both in yourself and your abilities will blossom.

    Set boundaries

    Stop trying to please people. I say this as a recovering people-pleaser! We think that if we say yes to everything and no to nothing, then we can prove our worth. Actually, all we’ll achieve is accumulating a to-do list that not even the most talented productivity expert could untangle! There is power in saying ‘no’ or ‘not right now’ or ‘it will have to wait’. The more you can establish those boundaries, the more in control you will feel and the more confident you will be. Saying no doesn’t make you appear unhelpful or unapproachable – especially when we’re operating with conviction and courage in relation to ‘what is the right thing to do?’ and ‘what is my purpose’? Saying no helps you to come across as assured, assertive and in control.

    Ditch perfectionism

    It’s easy to believe that if something isn’t perfect then it has no value. Wait – believe…? Yes, perfectionism is a limiting belief that we accept as fact (see point 2). Who said that less than perfect wasn’t good enough? Time pressures often mean that as SBLs, we don’t get to finish things off as neatly as we’d like or to present them as perfectly as we’d like. You know what? That’s ok. Because often, the standards we set for ourselves are much higher than anybody else’s. Sometimes good, is good enough. And that is just fine. 

    Demonstrate confidence

    You and I both know that you can do this job. You know what you’re doing, you know what needs to be done and you know what you should be doing to make it happen. So do it! Confidence is triggered by intention. Tell people what you’re doing, what you’ll achieve and when you’ll achieve it by. Then get it done. By demonstrating confidence and your ability to achieve, you gain credibility – which in turn, breeds more confidence! When you talk confidently, you inspire others to have confidence in you. 

    Toot your own horn

    When you have achieved something amazing, contributed to a major project or saved your organisation from a crisis, make it your mission to point it out. Remind people of what you have done and what you can do in order for them to see you as a credible leader and contributor to the success of the team. Often, the people around us don’t know what it is that we do or don’t understand the impact that we have on our schools. By sharing your successes, you explicitly demonstrate both the value that you provide and the confidence that you have in your ability to deliver. Recently on Twitter, SBLs have been talking about their ‘ta-da’ lists instead of their ‘to-do’ lists. Sprinkle those ‘ta-da’ tasks all over your school!

    As credibility is earned, not given – confidence comes from within. For people to see the value that we add, we have to see the value within ourselves. It does get tough when we think that people don’t want to listen to us or care about what we do. But you care about what you do; you have a unique skillset that your school needs. So you give it to them with all you’ve got! The rest will follow.

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    Source: My blog vault

  • One Foot In, One Foot Out 🦶

    One Foot In, One Foot Out 🦶

    Ever caught yourself mid-email, staring at the screen, completely zoned out? Five minutes gone, brain miles away, thinking about everything except what you’re meant to be doing?

    That’s what leaving a job feels like – like a dodgy WiFi signal flickering in and out or a tab you keep clicking back to instead of closing 🤪

    If that’s where you are right now, you’ll know exactly what I mean!

    Whether you’re hovering over ‘apply now’, waiting for an interview or already mentally packing up your desk, job transitions have a way of making everything feel unsettled.

    So, while you’re in this awkward in-between phase, here are two things you can do now – because trust me, you’ll thank yourself later!

    🧹 Get your office organised – And I mean every nook and cranny. No, this isn’t a call to shred company secrets 😜 but it is a nudge to get your files, folders and paperwork in order. Clear out the drawers, sort through the ‘just in case’ pile and make sure everything’s where it should be. Not only will this make your last few weeks more bearable but you won’t be frantically stuffing things into bins or bags at the last minute!

    📝 Start your handover prep now – You might not be handing over just yet but everything you do from this point on will benefit from a little forward thinking. Start coding, annotating and setting up files with clear labels. Print off key documents and add explanations. Move things around so someone else can find them (because you won’t be there to decode your ‘system’). With a little prep now, your handover will be ten times easier and it’ll save you from a flurry of ‘just one quick question’ emails after you leave!

    It might feel a bit soon to start wrapping things up, but doing something – anything – right now will help steady your brain while you wait. And when the time comes, you’ll be glad you didn’t leave it all until the last minute.

    🎀 So tie up the loose ends, clear the clutter (literal and figurative) and make your exit on your terms!

    Because when that next step finally arrives, you don’t want to be dragging a mess behind you – you want to walk away with a clear head, a clean slate and maybe even a little smugness at how smoothly you pulled it off 😉

    💫 Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Source: The ‘Tuesday email’ archives

  • What’s In A Name?

    What’s In A Name?

    I’ve now been in business doing what I do for 9 years. 

    What I do is coach and support SBLs to step into their superpowers and be their amazing superhero selves. And I absolutely love it! 

    Recently, I was telling someone outside of education about what I do, and they said, ‘Cool, but you run your own business right? Doesn’t that make you a CEO?’

    It’s fair to say I was a bit stumped, so I stuttered a bit then said, ‘Well, I guess so, yeah.’

    Sure, I have my own business and I have to do all the ‘stuff’ that comes along with that but when I think about what I do, somehow, I don’t feel the title of CEO really hits the mark. 

    It got me thinking about titles and what they mean to people. 

    What is a CEO and why did I feel so uncomfortable with the idea? 🤷‍♀️

    In the context of a multi-academy trust, I know exactly what a CEO is and what the role is about.

    In business, it feels a bit grand, very corporate and a little distant somehow. Maybe if I had a team or a board it might feel a bit more appropriate but the idea of that just makes me itchy! 😆

    The thing is, in business I don’t want to be corporate. I’m not corporate.

    I’m professional, absolutely. I can sit in a boardroom and take on anyone in there with absolute confidence and conviction but when I don’t need to litigate, debate and influence, I’m someone else.

    I’ve got a cup of tea, with my sleeves rolled up calling a spade a frickin’ shovel 😆

    I’ve been known to swear in the company of those who I feel comfortable with, I use emojis in emails and I use GIFs on social media. 

    I spoke about this to a friend, and they said maybe ‘Owner’ is better than ‘CEO’ but even that feels bizarre and alien to me 🙈

    My business is so much more than that. I’m so much more than that. 

    It’s a bit like the title of School Business Manager.

    Literally speaking, a School Business Manager manages the business elements involved in the running of a school.

    It’s technically true but it’s also SO much more than that! 🤯

    And so are you ❤️

    There are no right or wrong answers here but when it comes to your current role and your future roles, think about the title that comes with it. Sure, there’s a clearer and evolving career path for SBLs but that doesn’t mean that you can’t bring your own unique flavour to the party too. 

    You are more than your title and who you are is just as important as what you do. And you are frickin’ awesome 😉

    💫 Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Source: The ‘Tuesday email’ archives

  • Is Your MAT Mismanaged?

    Is Your MAT Mismanaged?

    Almost every day we read a news article about a MAT scandal. Whether it be a financial notice to improve, a poor Ofsted report or a failure of governance, these stories have become all too common.

    The questions that are often asked are: why has it taken Ofsted or the DfE to come along for people to realise how bad it is? Why hasn’t something been done before?

    A MAT cannot lose all of its money or shift from good to special measures overnight. These things happen over time. 

    So how do you know if you’re working in a mismanaged MAT? What are the symptoms you should be looking out for that may lead to a detrimental diagnosis?

    In my experience, there are three key areas that you should assess to determine whether your MAT is being mismanaged:

    Governance

    • Consider the constitution of your Board and Governing Bodies. Determine whether they are the right people to undertake these roles in terms of their values, skillset, personal interests and capacity. 
    • Review the governance self-evaluation systems that are in place. Consider how objective this process is, how often it is undertaken and how effective your MAT is at following up on areas for development. 
    • Evaluate the effectiveness of your Scheme of Delegation. Determine how well it is adhered to and whether it is effective in operation. 
    • Assess the quality of your meetings in relation to schedule, agendas and records of discussion. Evidence of accountability, scrutiny, challenge and support should be clear and documented.
    • Consider the level of transparency of your governance systems. You should be able to clearly articulate your decision making process and justify the actions of governors both to local stakeholders and external bodies.

    Leadership

    • Consider the capacity of your leaders in relation to delivering sustainable improvement within your MAT. 
    • Assess how well your leaders tackle poor performance and conduct and whether they execute their role as leader fairly, equitably and consistently.
    • Determine how well your leaders apply the policies of your MAT. Consider how you ensure that MAT systems and processes are followed in relation to education, employment law, finance and compliance.
    • Review the performance management processes for your leaders to ensure that they focus on MAT determined core competencies beyond education specific targets. Consider finance management and people management as indicators of leadership quality.
    • Consider how well the leaders within your MAT respond to challenge and the opportunity to collaborate. Issues within these areas can indicate an underlying cultural problem that can erode the effectiveness of the MAT over time.

    Finance

    • Consider the level of experience of your finance staff and the qualifications they hold in the context of the role that you expect them to perform. Assess their ability to provide correct and timely information and whether they present it in an audience-appropriate way.
    • Determine how your finance team responds to challenge and scrutiny both within meetings and from external bodies. Questions that cannot be answered or data that cannot be supported is a red flag that should not be ignored.
    • Review the financial systems within your MAT to ensure that there are appropriate checks in place to act as an ‘early warning’ system. An external audit report should not be the first time that you learn about financial issues within your MAT. 
    • Assess the value of the MAT central team in terms of the capacity that they add to the schools and whether the relationships between the financial team and local school leaders enables sound financial management.
    • Consider how the finance function integrates with other areas across the MAT including school development planning, curriculum planning, staffing strategy and capital expenditure. A financial team that works within a silo cannot be effective.

    💫 Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Written for: Primary School Management Magazine

  • Gut Check Time 🫣

    Gut Check Time 🫣

    During Adele’s final Vegas residency performance, she chugged a glass of wine, stood in front of 5,000 fans and laid it all bare.

    And she didn’t just reflect on 100 incredible performances; she shared how she almost didn’t get there.

    When she canceled her show at the last minute last year, she faced a complete 💩 show of criticism, fear and doubt.

    People told her it was ‘career suicide’ and yet, standing on that stage this weekend, she looked back and said, “If something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t f***** do it.”*

    Saying ‘no’ when the world expects you to say ‘yes’ is hard.

    We’ve all been there; when you’ve worked so hard to meet expectations, saying no can feel like letting everyone (and yourself) down.

    Sometimes, it’s saying no to a project, a decision or even a role you thought you wanted.

    But here’s the thing: saying no doesn’t always mean you’re turning away from something. It can mean you’re making space for something better 💫

    It’s about trusting your gut, even when you don’t have all the answers.

    It reminded me of a time when an opportunity landed in my lap that was perfect on paper. It ticked all the right boxes and everyone told me to go for it. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t right for me and I walked away. It wasn’t easy and people thought I had totally lost the plot!

    But that decision opened the door to what I’m doing now; work that I truly love 💁‍♀️

    To make things even trickier, sometimes we mix up the yeses and nos.

    We say yes to things out of obligation or fear of letting people down. We say no to things because we’re scared or we don’t feel ready. The challenge is learning the difference.

    Adele’s words reminded me that we don’t need all the answers. What we do need is to listen to that little voice inside us – the one that knows when something feels right.

    So here’s your nudge for the week:

    😳 What’s one thing you’ve said yes to but your gut’s saying no?

    😳 What’s one thing you’ve been hesitant to say yes to, even though you know it’s right?

    The second chances we often wait for aren’t given to us – they’re created by the decisions we make and the risks we’re willing to take.

    So, what’s holding you back? 🤨

    What’s stopping you from saying no to what isn’t working – or yes to what could change everything?

    Trust your gut, rewrite the script and give yourself permission to go after what you really want ❤️

    💫 Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Source: The ‘Tuesday email’ archives

  • Do You Need To Feel The Fear?

    Do You Need To Feel The Fear?

    “You need to feel the fear!”
     
    Or so Joey and Chandler tell Rachel in Friends when she says she’s sick of working as a waitress and wishes she could get a job in fashion. They say that as long as she has that job, she doesn’t have the motivation to go out and get the job she really wants.
     
    Watching this episode got me thinking about confidence, and about how sometimes we need the right set of circumstances to push us forward.

    I’m a ‘feel the fear’ type of person. I do my best work under pressure (especially when I’m skating too close to deadlines) and some of the best things I’ve done are the ones that I crapped myself doing, or when the clock has been ticking and I’ve not had time to talk myself out of it. The magic happens for me when I’m pushed forward by circumstance, or other people who believe in me – even if I don’t.
     
    Over time I’ve got better at generating that ‘fear’ myself – stepping forward before I think I’m ready, and speaking out when I’d normally stay quiet – but it does take work!
     
    I’m not saying for a minute that you should quit your job – no way – but if you’re feeling held back somehow, think about what it is that you want to achieve and why you feel like you can’t. I know external factors play a part in this but, when it comes to building the confidence to deal with these, that’s down to us.
     
    Confidence is a fluid thing and, in order to understand how to tap into it, it’s useful to spend some time unpicking the reasons why we feel that we can’t or shouldn’t do the things that we really want to.
     
    Reasons may include…

    • You don’t believe that you’re capable of it.
    • You feel that the goal is too big, or unachievable.
    • You’re worried it won’t work, won’t be good enough or will go wrong.
    • You’re not naturally outgoing or assertive or [insert other appropriate adjectives!]
    • You’ve had some bad experiences in the past and you don’t believe this time will be any better.
    • You’re worried about what will happen if you do it; what people will say or think about you.

    Understanding what’s holding you back is the first step to moving forward; whatever your reason is, ask yourself what you can do to create the momentum you need.

    So…
      
    What’s your goal?
    What’s stopping you?
    What’s the one action that you feel ready to take?
     
    You don’t have to be a ‘feel the fear’ type of person to create momentum – it might be that you need to take smaller steps, or to unpick some of that negative self-talk, until you’re left with logic instead of doubt.

    💫 Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Source: The ‘Tuesday email’ archives

  • It’s Like Climbing A Mountain In Flip-Flops 😖

    It’s Like Climbing A Mountain In Flip-Flops 😖

    I’ve always found a weird kind of comfort in being the quiet one in the room.

    There’s something nice about hanging back, soaking it all in and figuring out how I can pitch in without making a big fuss.

    But sometimes that quiet vibe can hold me back and I have to give my head a wobble to speak up!

    Sure, talking is part of the job and as SBLs, we’re out there chatting with parents, teachers and governors pretty regularly but deep down, we’d probably rather be at our desks, flying under the radar and getting stuff done.

    And honestly, who wouldn’t prefer to be a stealth ninja rather than facing all those people and the pressure of being seen? 😈

    If you’ve ever felt like this, trust me, you’re not alone – but when you need to push your ideas forward or stand your ground, it can feel like trying to climb a mountain in flip-flops!

    It’s no surprise so many of us struggle with getting noticed and saying no. Total introvert struggles, right? 🤪

    So, if our introversion is part of what makes us special – helping us see the big picture and get things done without the drama – how do we shake off that invisibility cloak when it’s time to step up?

    Here’s how you can start making your presence felt without freaking yourself out!

    ⏱️ Share your ideas early in meetings. I’ve found that the sooner you speak up, the more at ease you feel, knowing your voice is in the mix. Waiting too long just makes it harder, so why not jump in at the beginning?

    👋 Remember, you don’t have to take centre stage to be heard. Engaging with others’ ideas counts too! Saying something like, “Building on what Julie mentioned, I’m curious about how we could move X forward,” or “That’s a great idea! Any chance we have the dates and times agreed for that event yet?” or sharing a helpful article or update you found last week are all low-key contributions without turning the spotlight up to full beam.

    📩 Not every conversation has to happen face-to-face. Emails and texts can give you the chance to think things through and the opportunity to respond on your own terms. You can take your time to craft your message and make sure you get your point across in the way you mean it rather than feeling rushed in the moment.

    When we’re buried in paperwork, it’s easy to think being visible doesn’t need to be a priority.

    But if we want to be heard then we need to be seen 💥

    Being visible isn’t about being loud or flashy; it’s simply about letting people know we’re here and ready to contribute. When we step out and share our thoughts, we open the door to support and recognition too.

    So, this week, take off that invisibility cloak (just for a little bit!) and show up for yourself ❤️ Because you are awesome!

    💫 Like what you’ve read? Subscribe to my Tuesday emails here.

    Source: The ‘Tuesday email’ archives