My husband loves to be right.
In the summer our smoke alarm started beeping so I set about looking for a new battery. My husband was adamant that the alarm was wired into the electric and, therefore, there was no battery.
I’m debating with him over my shoulder as I’m digging through a pile of useless keys and old chargers in our bits-and-bobs drawer while he is frantically checking the fuse board under the stairs.
Finally, I produced a battery and, after another long (and noisy) fifteen minutes spent debating underneath the still beeping alarm, he decided to prove – once and for all – that the alarm does not have a battery. He muttered quietly to himself whilst fetching a ladder; I remained quiet – hands on hips, eyes in permanent roll mode.
I didn’t know it was possible for someone to stomp up a ladder, but he somehow managed it! Over the screeching alarm, his words were barely audible, “Pass me the battery.”
This type of thing happens regularly. It’s earned me quite the reputation of ‘always being right’. I can see how it looks that way, but the trick to it is simple. I only nail my flag to the mast when I’m already 99.9% sure I know what I’m talking about – which makes me right 99.9% of the time!
If I don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m the first to say, ‘I don’t know’ and ask someone who does. (Ok, this is usually my husband… He is right sometimes!)
As school business leaders we find ourselves in plenty of situations where we know we’re right, and we will die in that ditch if we have to; but there are other times when we just don’t know the answer.
Not knowing the answer can sometimes feel like SBL-kryptonite – and even worse, admitting it can make us feel like we’re bad at our jobs or that people will think we’re stupid.
Nothing could be further from the truth
Saying ‘I don’t know’ shows that you have self-awareness, that you’re secure in yourself, that getting it right is more important than what other people think and, more importantly, that you’re willing to find the answer. This will not only make people feel more confident in you, but also that they can trust you to get the job done.
Nobody knows everything – and the ones who say they do are lying! Confidence does not equal competence. Those who ‘talk the talk’ do not always ‘walk the walk’. We all know someone like this, and what do we think of them? Not much.
Assuming we should have the answers, and beating ourselves up when we don’t, is defeating ourselves before we even get started. The true power, in a world where everyone feels that being seen to be right is more important than actually being right, is to admit that we don’t know, and to commit to finding the right answer, the right way, or the right person to help us.
So, don’t worry about feeling like you’re on the back foot. Don’t worry if there’s an awkward pause. Nail your flag to your mast with just as much conviction as when you do know the answer and declare ‘I’m not sure but I’ll look into it’ or ‘I don’t know but I know someone who can help’.
People won’t remember all the times you said ‘I don’t know’, but they will know that you’re rarely wrong, always have an answer and are almost always, always right. Just ask my husband!
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Appeared in: Education Executive Magazine (@edexec)
